Brief update on the two oldest

It's been a while since I last wrote about my family. I never mentioned it before but I have three boys and one girl. The two oldest boys are from a previous marriage (aka youthful, impetuous mistake). The two youngest are my step-children from my current marriage. I am assuming that I've managed to not make another of those foolish youthful mistakes. :)

I'll use this post as a review of the past year or so...

Poorly Made Decisions

One of the things we love about youth is the fact that sometimes you can't just take an adult's word on anything. The more children you have the more mistakes you're likely to see over the course of seeing them grow old enough for you to boot them out of the house for good... Assuming they live through those mistakes. In my case, most of mine don't do anything terribly life threatening or extreme so I have a few less worries on that front. Unfortunately, while they save me from the heart palpitations associated with watching them do risky sports they make up for it in their poorly made decisions about school and school work.

Example One: The Oldest Not The Wisest

First, I should clarify that my two oldest boys and I don't have a close relationship. I still love them dearly and, like any parent, wish nothing but the very best for them. However, since I was not instrumental in their upbringing they ended up not receiving the same disciplined approach to their school work that the two youngest have had the pleasure of receiving. Not that that works all the time either as you'll see in the next section...

My oldest recently turned 22. He moved out of his mother's house some time ago and has been living with roommates most of the time since then. It is hard to know for certain but I think he's actually on his 5th or 6th set of roommates. All my dreams of well educated and well read children with active involvement in sports and social activities apparently never got communicated to this one. While he is an avid reader it is primarily of fantasy that's as far as he's gotten with regards to any of the aforementioned dreams... He is amazingly close to being a clone of my brother with two exceptions. First, my brother made some attempts at playing sports although I think I had some influence in that area (not always a good influence I'm told...). Second, he showed that he had some desire to work and improve upon himself when he joined the Army and since with the job he has held for some 10+ years.

On the education side, he "decided" he didn't really need a high school diploma so he decided that he would not turn in his last several assignments and move out early since he was already 18. Since he was never into sports and has never been very social he never had either of those become motivators for him to do well in school. Since he spends most of his free time playing video games and reading his fantasy books over and over I'm convinced he's hoping for some escape from reality or living in some fantasy that everything will turn out just fine.

On the bright side, he made a big change in his life by his own choice and moved to Virginia to get what he calls a "fresh start"  He has since found a job he enjoys and found that he doesn't like the location so he wants to move back once he knows he can transfer. On the down side, all the things he wanted to get away from, with the exception of his brother, are still here waiting for him and I'm afraid he'll fall back into a similar routine.

Example Two: A Sporting Chance

My second son is more like me than any of the others. I think this fact scares me more than it does any of the rest of the parents in the mix. He is social to the nth degree. He more than makes up for his older brother's reclusive nature. He is also into sports which I find to be a good thing.

He started making some general mistakes with regards to study habits and staying focused but turned that around by going to college and taking the courses he needed in order to graduate from High School a year early and then promptly went into the Army where he is a Ranger and has served a tour of duty in Afghanistan.  He was injured and received a Purple Heart and is now looking into transferring to a medial profession.

Other than his tendency to party hard I see nothing bad about most of his decisions thus far.  Most...  Unfortunately, he has inherited his mother's attention span when it comes to driving.  It is my fervent hope that he will reevaluate his typical driving habits and make some changes.  No mobile phone, no texting, no distractions.  Difficult to manage for many of our youth these days.

The above was mostly written three years ago and I just now realized it was still sitting there.  I updated it to match the current information but didn't add too much more.  Enjoy.  I might even get back to writing soon.  Cheers!